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The Epic Odyssey of Thomas McLean

 
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OhRenee



Joined: 19 Sep 2013
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 8:30 am    Post subject: The Epic Odyssey of Thomas McLean Reply with quote



The Epic Odyssey of Thomas McLean is a story about disappointment, growing up, and facing adulthood as a millennial fresh out of college.

Itís also a story about fantasy RPG video games.

Thomas McLean grew up being told a simple formula: do good in school, go to college, get good job, meet good girl, succeed at life. Steps 1 and 2 were no problem Ė but good jobs are scarce, the good girl broke up with him, and succeeding at life doesnít seem possible while stuck feeding grumpy tourists at Fishermanís Wharf day in and day out. Disillusioned and afraid that heís wasting his 20s going nowhere, Thomas spends his nights wishing he could just escape.

But when his wish is granted and heís flung into a world that is remarkably similar to the video games he plays, he begins to question his own priorities. And so, with the help of the people he meets there, itís up to Thomas to face monsters, magic, mayhem and the specter of his own doubt to become a hero.

Comic updates Mondays and Fridays. Check it out at theepicodyssey.com!
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mcmasters



Joined: 28 Jun 2012
Posts: 430

PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 3:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll share a couple thoughts...overall I liked it and will keep reading.

I thought there were parts that moved a little slowly, with nothing really happening, but while I would have liked a bit of a quicker pace I greatly prefer that to comics that try to jam in a million things and an ocean of dialogue in one page. My eyes usually glaze over when that happens and I check out.

I LOVE the art. The crisp clean characters against the slightly faded backgrounds remind me of the great old animated movies. Your panels look like animation movie cells, I like it.

Not too much to say about the story so far...it's pleasantly whimsical, I like the fact that it's not (so far, don't know what your intentions are) "heavy." Sometimes 15 or so pages in there have already been 15 violent encounters with appropriate splatterings of blood and gore. I like the premise (as I so far understand it) and am curious where you're going with it. I like the "Order of Sighs," again, pleasingly whimsical.

A difficulty you are aware of is the cliche nature of it. The fact that your main character is aware that what is going on is kind of cliche does not mean the story isn't cliche (if that makes sense). It's still guy thrown into D&D type situation and has to cope. Not that that's a bad thing, it's a genre, all genres have fans. Just, as your comic readily acknowledges, it's been done and is done regularly; maybe you've got some unexplored twists and angles to bring to it...

Good luck, Jerry

---

www.mcmasterscomics.com
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MindChimera



Joined: 03 Feb 2013
Posts: 269

PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 4:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with mcmasters that I appreciate you aren't starting with a bunch of action. I personally dislike being thrown into action scenes before we barely even know the characters' names. So this is my kind of story so far.

The pacing was mostly fine to me, but I felt like a lot of the "breathe" panels weren't necessary. To me, panel 2 on this page could have been cut. Similarly, panel 1 or 2 could have been cut from here (possibly both; if you keep either of them, it should be #1 though. I'd say cut it because you have another coming up on the same page). On the other hand, that page's panel 5 is a good fit. Having pauses is good for showing dramatic effect, and I get that he's having trouble taking this all in. But when you do it a bunch consecutively when not a lot else is really happening, it gets old. Fast.

The font is a bit small at times, and the particular face you've chosen makes it hard to read when it gets smaller. Try to be consistent in your size.

I really like the artwork, especially for the first page. I'm looking forward to seeing more magicy stuff.

An archive page would be nice. And from a web design standpoint, pages that just say "coming soon" are discouraging to users. These pages should either have some content on them or the links should be removed so they can't be accessed until they're ready. It's fine if the site is under construction, but leading your readers to blank pages will discourage them from ever going back to said pages.

I like the website background. But you may want to consider making it bigger, tiling it, or mixing the edges a bit so it looks continuous. On larger monitors, the edge is very noticeable. (I took a screenshot to show what I mean, but imageshack is down right now so I'll post it later.)

I'm adding it to my RSS feed. I'm all for "cliche" stories as long as they're entertaining. Very Happy
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OhRenee



Joined: 19 Sep 2013
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 6:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for the feedback. I'm especially glad that you like the art - my background is animation, so I'm glad to hear that it is reminiscent of that style.

As for pacing and cliches... I assure you, it is deliberate. I'll see if I can't trim the fat in places necessary.
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