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A Science Fantasy comic About A Dysfunctional Family

 
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Justinfh



Joined: 30 Sep 2012
Posts: 87

PostPosted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 6:31 pm    Post subject: A Science Fantasy comic About A Dysfunctional Family Reply with quote

Due to technical difficulties, a lot of my older Webcomics had to be re-posted. However, it a few weeks, new ones will be posted.

My Webcomic is called, Feeling Moody. It's a science fantasy comic about a dysfunctional family.

Premise

Monica and Martha are evolved humans, from the planet Oberon. Monica ended up in a mental hospital, while Martha got married, and had two kids.

Concepts and plot generators

Evolved Humans From Another Planet.

Monica and Martha are evolved humans from the planet Oberon. Humans from that planet can shape-shift and communicate through dream telepathy. Children from that planet have an additional ability; they can warp reality by using their imagination.

Time Machines.

There are two time machines in this Webcomic. One is called Kronos. Kronos is a time machine that's one of it's kind. Not only can it be used to control time, but Kronos can also be used to see into alternate timelines of the past, present, and future. The purpose of Kronos is to prevent kids from completely messing up history. The other time machine, which will be introduced later on is a parody of the T.A.R.D.I.S. It's basically a machine that can travel anywhere in time and space. It's bigger on the the inside, and the outside looks like a porta potty instead of a police box.

Plot Holes

Plot holes are holes in the space-time continuum. Causes of plot holes include constant time travel and reality warping, However, excessive use of Kronos may also cause plot holes as well. But that has not be confirmed.

Rage Universe

Once in a while, Feeling Moody will take place in an alternate Universe where everything looks like a rage comic. Comics that takes place in the Rage Universe has no affect on continuity.

My Webcomic is found here.

The first comic, or episode is found [ur=http://feelingmoodycomic.com/comics/car-commandments-3/]here.[/url]

Volume 1 of Feeling Moody is posted five days a week from July 1st until September 5th.

Volume 2 will be posted every Monday starting September 16th and will feature more stand-alone comics.
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MindChimera



Joined: 03 Feb 2013
Posts: 314

PostPosted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 9:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm a little reluctant to make this post; when I review other people's comics, I try to make sure I put in some good points to keep my comments from being too negative. However, I'm struggling to find anything redeeming about this comic. I've decided to go ahead and give you my thoughts, because I really think that if your goal is to build an audience, you're going to have a hard time without some changes. So I'll go ahead and apologize now if I offend you.

I would really, really, really encourage you to improve your art. Your eclipse-tool characters are very off-putting, and give off the impression that A) you're very young; B) you don't care about the comic, so the quality doesn't matter; or C) you're horrendously bad at art, but don't care enough to improve or make any attempts at stylizing (which ties back into B). The last thing you want for a story is to give off the impression that you don't care about it. If you don't care, how can you expect your audience to care?

It looks like you're using Microsoft Paint. If you don't want to spend money on a better art program, there are free alternatives available, such as Paint.NET and GIMP. I haven't used Paint.NET personally, but I hear about people using it all the time. GIMP is like a free Photoshop Elements. If you would like to continue to use Microsoft Paint, you should consider practicing with the curve tool. This can give you more artistic and stylized results, even when using a mouse.

If you don't want a tablet pen for drawing on the computer (I assume you don't have one, otherwise you wouldn't need the eclipse tool), you could alternatively get a scanner. Then you could draw with pencil and just scan it in. I would encourage you to actually draw your characters instead of using cookie-cutter tools, even if you think you're a poor artist. When you draw, you get better the more you do it; but if you keep using the eclipse tool, your characters will always look as they do now.

How come the characters only occasionally have eyebrows?

Your color choice is incredibly unpleasant. On Emily's Dream, Emily's pants completely blend into the background, making it look like she's just a floating torso. Also, the blue you've picked for the sky and her pants is a poor choice; it's so saturated that it actually detracts from, and overwhelms, the characters. I'd really suggest creating your own colors to use rather than what the default palette gives you.

Characters with noses look like cyclopes from the side. You position their only visible eye right above their nose. Take a look in the mirror, because the bridge of your nose extends up to your brows/forehead. Also, if you're drawing a character's head from the side, their nose should be visibly sticking out from their head. I know this conflicts with your love for the eclipse tool, but on panels that are zoomed out, their noses become invisible.

The pacing is incredibly odd. To start, the second comic you have posted is a non-continuity comic. It's confusing that you would do that so early in, but even more confusing because it sort of just states the events without really adding any commentary. This really better suited for a comment under the comic or a blog post.

Until the Plot Holes page, it's incredibly hard to tell how these comics are even supposed to be connected. It seems like you have some sort of story comic up, but that doesn't even become apparent until the Plot Holes page, and the impression I get is that this is a gag comic.

I also don't see the "dysfunctional family" thing at all past the first comic (and even that is more of a "father knows best" sort of scenario). I see women explaining something about a time machine, and some scenes that seem to be leading the character Emily into some sort of plot. But save for the first comic, everyone seems to be pleasant to each other. I would think that if this is about a dysfunctional family with some sort of humanistic-alien time machine plot, you would start with the family fighting and work up to the weird stuff. But it looks like you're dancing all around and it's hard to tell what the first few pages are even for.

The dialogue is stiff and boring. These characters have no visible personality - when they talk, it's matter-of-fact. The artwork also limits what kind of emotions they can exhibit. Their movement (if any) is robotic and their expressions are few. Also, the small amount of humor is weak at best.

I would suggest you to take a step back and look at what you have here. I don't know how much planning you put into each page, but I think it could stand to use some more prep time. Write ahead, plan out dialogue so it sounds natural and the character's personality can actually come through, figure out what your story is and make it clear, link events together correctly, etc.
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Justinfh



Joined: 30 Sep 2012
Posts: 87

PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 4:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would really, really, really encourage you to improve your art. Your eclipse-tool characters are very off-putting, and give off the impression that A) you're very young; B) you don't care about the comic, so the quality doesn't matter; or C) you're horrendously bad at art, but don't care enough to improve or make any attempts at stylizing (which ties back into B). The last thing you want for a story is to give off the impression that you don't care about it. If you don't care, how can you expect your audience to care?


Well, this comic started off as a gag-comic, but I've decided to get rid of the gag comics and focus on the story. When it comes to my art. I outright suck at it. Unforuntatly, there won't be any improvements for a long time, because my comics are created well in advance, but I do have a story on the go.

It looks like you're using Microsoft Paint. If you don't want to spend money on a better art program, there are free alternatives available, such as Paint.NET and GIMP. I haven't used Paint.NET personally, but I hear about people using it all the time. GIMP is like a free Photoshop Elements. If you would like to continue to use Microsoft Paint, you should consider practicing with the curve tool. This can give you more artistic and stylized results, even when using a mouse.

Close, I'm using Inkscape.

How come the characters only occasionally have eyebrows?

Good question. I guess because a lack of eyebrows represents a lack of emotion.

Your color choice is incredibly unpleasant. On Emily's Dream, Emily's pants completely blend into the background, making it look like she's just a floating torso. Also, the blue you've picked for the sky and her pants is a poor choice; it's so saturated that it actually detracts from, and overwhelms, the characters. I'd really suggest creating your own colors to use rather than what the default palette gives you.

Characters with noses look like cyclopes from the side. You position their only visible eye right above their nose. Take a look in the mirror, because the bridge of your nose extends up to your brows/forehead. Also, if you're drawing a character's head from the side, their nose should be visibly sticking out from their head. I know this conflicts with your love for the eclipse tool, but on panels that are zoomed out, their noses become invisible.


Thanks for the suggestions, especially about the noses. Although, Larry doesn't have a nose.

Finally, you're right. The family don't seem to be that dysfunctional. To be honest. I've decided to focus more on the sci-fi stuff.

The stuff about the color scheme and the noses are things I will change. But other than that, my comic is focus more on the story.
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MindChimera



Joined: 03 Feb 2013
Posts: 314

PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 5:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Justinfh wrote:
Well, this comic started off as a gag-comic, but I've decided to get rid of the gag comics and focus on the story. When it comes to my art. I outright suck at it. Unforuntatly, there won't be any improvements for a long time, because my comics are created well in advance, but I do have a story on the go.

If you decided to stop the gag comics and change to a story, and you were in a position where you had to reupload everything anyway, why did you start with gag comics? Why not keep them off the site and start with your plot?

Your latest update strikes me as something that probably should have been cut. Until I read the comments, I had no idea it was intended to be satire; I thought it was your stance on religion being spoken through your character. Your comments for the page basically say "this is here because this is what my comic was going to be a while ago," but if you aren't going that direction any more, why put the page up?

It sounds like you have a huge buffer you're working with, but what you're putting up isn't polished or edited at all. The whole thing is confusing and I really think you need to pause and think about what you're trying to accomplish.

Justinfh wrote:
Close, I'm using Inkscape.

A vector program is leaps and bounds above Microsoft Paint. I wouldn't call that "close." Confused I think you may be using a program you don't really understand how to use properly, and that may be holding you back. Or, in the very least, you don't intend to use it properly for this comic.

I honestly think just using pencil on paper and scanning it in would be a huge improvement. Or just... anything where you're actually trying to draw. These look like computer drawings a 7-year-old would do, and don't give off the feel that there's any sort of story worth enjoying here.

Drawing is a skill that takes time and practice to get better at. You'll always be bad if you don't give it any effort. What you're doing with these vectors, though, will never improve unless you figure out how to take advantage of the program you're using.

Justinfh wrote:
Good question. I guess because a lack of eyebrows represents a lack of emotion.

Learning how to draw would be a better way to do that. It's not like in reality people's eyebrows vanish when they're neutral. You could chalk it up to "stylizing" or "cartoon," but since you lack any sort of actual style in your artwork, it seems to me that you don't know how to make eyebrows sit naturally without looking odd. Or it's just too much effort for you to care.

Justinfh wrote:
Finally, you're right. The family don't seem to be that dysfunctional. To be honest. I've decided to focus more on the sci-fi stuff.

That's all right, but you probably shouldn't advertise your comic as a "dysfunctional family comic" when it isn't any more. You're more likely to get people who are actually interested to read it if you correctly label yourself.

Justinfh wrote:
The stuff about the color scheme and the noses are things I will change. But other than that, my comic is focus more on the story.

That's all well and good, but if your plan is to have some sort of serious story, you're not going to get that across with your artwork. The look of the comic is the first impression a reader will get, and the impression you're giving off is "this isn't worth my time to draw, so it's not worth your time to read."

And like I already said, the dialogue is bad. These characters are not interesting, the plot is not engaging, there is no reason for me to care about anything that's happened so far. If the story is supposed to be your strong point, then you have a lot of work to do. It may benefit you to do some research: find other comics in your genre and see how they do things like pacing, dialogue, explaining the sciencey aspects, etc. Maybe take a fiction writing class.

How do you plan for your comics? Do you write out your dialogue ahead of time in a script? Do you have an ending planned, or is this a sort of decide-as-you-go project?

You may be best off finding an artist to collaborate with. Though I know that isn't the best option if you're not looking to pay someone. But your artwork is really going to hurt whatever story you have.

Or, even better, why not just write a novel? You wouldn't have to worry about the artwork and could just focus on the story, since that's all you want to do anyway. You could still put it on the internet if you're concerned with getting published. Even if you go this route, though, I still think your writing needs a lot of work.
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Justinfh



Joined: 30 Sep 2012
Posts: 87

PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2013 3:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay here's the thing. I've been struggling where I was going with my comic, but now I think I finally found the direction. Also, the story isn't meant to be taken seriously. I knew from the beginning that I can't draw worth a shit, so I've decided to do a lighthearted story.

Also, the story is well planned out. Took me over a year to plan out.
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dpat57
Ich bin ein webcomicker


Joined: 11 Aug 2008
Posts: 2610
Location: Sunny/wet/windy Scotland

PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2013 8:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just saying, I find myself tweaking and hopefully improving on the original outline(s) all the time, nothing's set in stone, if something more dramatic or funny pops into my head on re-reading, I'll go that way. I'd take the above comments on board but don't stop enjoying what you're doing, anything can be improved on second pass as you learn better techniques along the way and get reader feedback on jokes, etc.
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OnlyTheGhosts



Joined: 03 Jun 2013
Posts: 52

PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 12:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I personally enjoy watching art evolution as an artist improves their webcomic over time. Stories improve too, but sometimes the first story that a writer creates is their most imaginative and interesting in concept, despite the lack of polish. Many writers become so polished in "doing it right", that they lose the flair & wonderful creativity that made their first stories so interesting.
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mcmasters



Joined: 28 Jun 2012
Posts: 436

PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 1:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

SamuraiTaiga wrote:
I personally enjoy watching art evolution as an artist improves their webcomic over time. Stories improve too, but sometimes the first story that a writer creates is their most imaginative and interesting in concept, despite the lack of polish. Many writers become so polished in "doing it right", that they lose the flair & wonderful creativity that made their first stories so interesting.


I agree, but the problem is the beginning art may be so off-putting that the story, no matter how good, never gets consideration.
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Justinfh



Joined: 30 Sep 2012
Posts: 87

PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 5:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mcmasters wrote:
SamuraiTaiga wrote:
I personally enjoy watching art evolution as an artist improves their webcomic over time. Stories improve too, but sometimes the first story that a writer creates is their most imaginative and interesting in concept, despite the lack of polish. Many writers become so polished in "doing it right", that they lose the flair & wonderful creativity that made their first stories so interesting.


I agree, but the problem is the beginning art may be so off-putting that the story, no matter how good, never gets consideration.


Well, I'm slowly getting more followers on my Twitter than I thought and more hits on my site than I thought. So I must be doing something right. Maybe it's the story.
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OnlyTheGhosts



Joined: 03 Jun 2013
Posts: 52

PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 6:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mcmasters wrote:
SamuraiTaiga wrote:
I personally enjoy watching art evolution as an artist improves their webcomic over time. Stories improve too, but sometimes the first story that a writer creates is their most imaginative and interesting in concept, despite the lack of polish. Many writers become so polished in "doing it right", that they lose the flair & wonderful creativity that made their first stories so interesting.


I agree, but the problem is the beginning art may be so off-putting that the story, no matter how good, never gets consideration.


True, but if the webcomic continues, a slow building of regular visitors will overcome that. Word will get around. It will just take longer.

A lot of really awful art out there, but it seems that a good story can carry a webcomic anyway. I like good art too, but from what I can tell, the more successful webcomics didn't always start with it. When we get good art and good story, it's something to applaud - but I find that often good art and good story are a little rare outside of collaborative works. Most good writers are terrible artists, and most good artists are awful writers. (^^) If it was a choice of one or the other, I'd pick a good story to keep me going. Collaborations can be hard to keep going too, since the more people involved the higher the risk of someone dropping the ball and being unable to continue.

Consistency and reliability are more important to me as the deciding factor. I'll stick with a webcomic that's consistent, reasonably frequently updated, over unreliable & infrequent anything else. If there's good story and crap art, but fairly reliable, then I'll definitely take that over good art, good story, but unreliable/infrequently updated. I get bored checking some webcomic that seems to only randomly update for long stretches of time, no matter how good the art and story.
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Justinfh



Joined: 30 Sep 2012
Posts: 87

PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

From my personal experience, if the art is so bad that you can't make out what's going on, I tend not to read the comic. On the other hand, if you can make a good story out of rage faces, that I would totally read your Webcomic.
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