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A Quick Critique of the Person Above's Comic
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Joined: 21 Jun 2013
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Submarines & Sea Monsters

Okay, here are my first thoughts:

1) You need to activate your project wonderful ad space. You may not get an ad right away, but the empty "your ad here" sends a subliminal message to readers that "this site isn't very popular, otherwise there'd be ads here"

2) I'm not a fan of a splash page as a home page instead of the comic -- it's an extra step before I can get to reading your stuff.

3) It's got an interesting "indy" look to the art... the newer pages are definitely better than the earliest pages. I went back and checked the first page and there were definitely some spots where it looked lazy to me, like the beard. But the newer pages are pretty nice. Some nice uses of perspective.

4) The hand-lettering in several places is a challenge for me to read. The top of 2/12 as an example.

5) Is 2/9 supposed to look out of place because the character is dreaming?

6) I really liked page 2/14 Very Happy

Is that 250 words? I'm not certain... Confused

Mine is a gag-a-day comic called Woohooligan.
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Joined: 12 May 2012
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 4:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Woohooligan's "Woohooligan":

First, a note on the site design. The strip's name is the least important thing on the entire page; it's completely overwhelmed by the banner ad at the top, and the type in the Project Wonderful skyscraper ad beneath it. You don't want a giant header that takes over everything, but this is kinda ridiculous.

Your lines are a little too light. I'd suggest doubling the weight, in general.

All of your ladies seem to have the same figure. You're doing a good job of drawing different body types for guys; mix it up for the gals too. And maybe even put tops on 'em that cover the cleavage sometimes.

The "Fetish Forum" sequence has some color issues - the background is terribly close to the honky flesh color you use on most of the characters, and they kinda vanish into it. One way to watch for this is to throw a desaturation layer on top. If everything comes out at almost the same value, it'll be hard to look at no matter what color combinations you use. Have a look at the last Fetish Forum page in grey:

You can clearly think about color in a more nuanced way than this, given the reasonably decent contrasts on the "Security Blanket" page that's at the front of the site right now. Have a look:

There's a decent separation of foreground and background going on here. That said, the final panel would be a LOT stronger if you had the shadows on the captive guy in black! The spotlight is the only source of light on him, use strong stark shadows to sell it.

Most of the comics that say "see an alternate ending below" seem to just kinda… trail off. You might want to think a bit more about the ending and really nail the gag. I know you're using the alternate ending as a vote incentive, but I think you'd do better to pick one ending and put a little more love into it.

You've got the basics down; this is a generally competent comic. But now maybe it's time to try and hone everything a little sharper.

Hope that gives you some stuff to chew on!


My comic is Decrypting Rita, a continuing narrative with multiple realities running at once.
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Joined: 27 Nov 2011
Posts: 193

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 6:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Decrypting Rita by Egypt Urnash:

Site design:
I would recommend changing the text color and maybe font size for easier reading. The dark background (which is integral to the nature of the art) makes it difficult to read the comments and menus.
I don't know if an horizontal menu below the tittle could be advisable, particularly because new readers might benefit from finding the "about" section soon!
I also think the navigation buttons should be more prominent. Again, colors might be the issue. And I would put the navigation buttons below the comic page, and then the info on updating, rss, etc., immediately below. Either that or move that info below the title.
The title of the page is not showing up.

The comic:
Naturally, this is a challenging, original idea, and pretty cleverly played.
The level of detail on each panel is inebriating, though the story moves a little bit too slow (specially in the last pages), which might be a problem in web comic medium. Of course, your mileage might vary, since we are gonna be attracted to this comic by the gorgeous art and the juxtaposed story line.

In general I like the comic because of originality and art. Hope this is helpful


My comic is M9 Girls, let's see how it fares =)

The Hippo
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Joined: 01 Jul 2013
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 5:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi there!

A couple things jumped out at me when i first opened your comic. some of the panel layouts feel chaotic and the sense of what's happening when in the story is getting confusing. With some of your panel layers it seems as if everything is happening simultaneously in the story.

I'd also suggest finding a free font site with licensing rights to use for your comic. Some of the fonts, particularly that art deco font, just don't really work for the type of story you're telling. I understand that you're trying to have a different font for every character but instead maybe look to something like Calvin and Hobbes for inspiration. Not sure if you remember, but his bully was the only character that spoke in lowercase which set him apart from the other characters. It was the same style of lettering, but differentiated enough. maybe instead of using a couple different fonts, use a font with a lot of formatting options.

I like the crisp lines but I think there could be more anatomical accuracy.

I liked the Rebirth page a lot, if you could bring your other pages to this level I think your comic will look great!

Hopefully some of that advice will help!

my comic is located at It's a series of short stories, if you want to read from the beginning of one story or start another one, there's an archive directory.

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